This Phoenix Don’t Rise

Dubstep!!! (Shakes Fist at Joe Biden & Rusko). 

Bones Don't Approve of a Bad Remix

Sometimes change is good, sometimes it really sucks. Just like Ryan Giggs & the superinjuctions (a possible band pseudonym in future), the case of Phoenix remixes is a standout case, deserving a shocking amount of press coverage and a possible double page spread in OK! Much has been made of the breakthrough Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix with a spate of covers and remixes surfacing on the interweb, flooding HypeM with blog kids chatting endlessly about the French quartet’s porosity for remixes.

I prefer this album cover, an' wot?

May I present to the jury, exhibit A:

A mashup EP between Lil & Phe – this illustrates a GOOD remix. Listen to Officer Lasso – by far the highlight of the lot.

And now something a little less…listenable:

Exhibit B: This Hivemynd character is exactly why mainstream dubstep and drum&bass remain stale genres, only highlighted by occasional pornographic bass wobbles and same-old beats. Not only does this remix suck, it goes regularly out of time with the vocal track.

In other words – please remix, please mashup, but do it creatively & have some god-damn respect for your elders.  

Now here’s a mixtape that truly appreciates the artist’s original work:

This Mixtape Is Being Blogified

Cookin’ Soul have done a cracking job creating a retrospect of the great Gil.

Please download if you are unfamiliar with GSH: http://www.cookinsoul.com/

That’s Entertainment?

Seriously. I mean SERIOUSLY.

Example & Labrinth as the ‘stars’ of Gradball 2011.

Like Mario Balotelli, he struggles to put on his clothes

I mean I wasn’t expecting the resurrection of Maryin Gaye or Jamie XX to turn up and play a 4 hour set (I wish on both counts) but Lexamprinth – as they shall collectively be known from now on –  is the sum of all my worst fears. I genuinely would prefer to see N Dubz, just for the comic value (and my attempts to knock off Dappy’s headgear).

16 July 2011 9pm onwards, Destination: Silent Disco.

Thanks Guild, you really do suck sometimes.

BLOG ENVY

Green with it. Jay Z’s Life & Times blog is incredible – a great diversity of material is posted including some very cool architecture, making the Bonaventure Hotel look pretty bland.

I Would Kill For This Design

The music on the posts are annoyingly on point, you’ve just get to quickly surf countless blogs plagiarizing L&T (mine included!). a case in point is this song that just dropped, showing the L&T looks far and wide for the freshest goods. Here’s Get Better John by Mux Mool aka avid 8bit fanatic Brian Lindgren – sounding like a retro SNES apocalypse march- off 2011’s SKULLTASTE. If you like your electronica akin to a schizophrenic Donkey Kong then this should be right on:

Trash Talk 101

I’m not a fan of boxing, but David Haye is damn witty. In the run up to the maHUssive heavyweight fight with Wladimir Klitschko on July 2nd, Haye showed off his hater repertoire (Watch out Glover):

‘Wladimir Klitschko’s not tough enough, mentally or physically, no way – unless he gets a chin transplant, and with eight weeks I don’t think there’s time enough for that to heal’

‘I looked into [Klitschko’s] eyes for 20 minutes and visualised me destroying him’.

Ouch, this guy clearly means biznis.

Belts for his morbidly obese ego

I am just waiting for a mixtape. Hurry Up Dave.

3rd & Final Post Of The Day

When you thought that French Football couldn’t plummet any further, then allegations of black/arab quotas surfaces. National Coach Blanc is alleged to have agreed with a plan to limit the proportion of black and North African players in order to promote players with “our culture, our history”. Shocking Stuff Blanc.

Living up to his name?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13274283.stm 

Compare & Contrast

The second Fleet Foxes album is brilliant. Fact. It is darker than their self titled debut and all the better for it. However, I’ve been concerned at the diversity of reviews on offer. I have handpicked two interesting reviews below showing the gulf in music journalism today. After reading the NME review I believe Kerry Katona could have written a more coherent piece about Iceland’s frozen chicken nuggets. I don’t care if the members of Fleet Foxes struggle romantically, actually it most likely makes for better music as frontman Robin Pecknold came out of a five-year relationship during recording of the 2nd LP. Anyway, if the No to AV campaign is not making your blood boil sufficiently:  http://www.nme.com/reviews/fleet-foxes/12024

Literally, The NME

On the other hand, despite often disagreeing with Pitchfork (a lowly 3.4 for Youngblood Brass Band’s Centre:Level:Roar!?) damn, they do know how to write. This time I do feel they are pretty spot on with Helplessness Blues, it’s a corker:  http://www.pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/15363-helplessness-blues/ 

Placing Artists in Musical Heaven or Hell

Right,  better get back to revision.

Average Joe #1: Tamer Hassan

A new feature, partly because I feel there needs to be some diversity, but mainly because I have a burgeoning collection of nearly-has-beens ready to be spilled onto GoodTom, particularly musically. One Hit Wonders, Z Listers, Extras – whatever you want to call them – I will attempt to celebrate their mediocrity.

First off is Tamer Hassan – If there was an Guy Ritchie directed version of The Expendables – Damn he’d be right there. But no, no such luck for blokey bloke Hassan. He’s usually found looking stern and sporting a savage lower jaw in films such as L4yer Cake, Dead Man Running & that cult classic, Football Factory. He fits all the classic henchman criteria.

'Shut It, You Mug'

However, all is not lost as he has amassed the British Television Grand Slam, having appeared in The Bill, Casualty, Eastenders & Hotel Babylon. Give that man a medal…or at least have him in on The One Show.

Maybe I am speaking too soon by naming him as an Average Joe as he has moved to LA to make it B*I*G*. He recently got into a fight with rival hard man-actor Vinnie Jones at a thai restaurant, but he won’t talk about it…what a silent brooding gent. There’s nothing like a bit of man-on-man to get the American press going gaga.

Tamer is, above all, a wordsmith: ‘The villain is the most interesting part, the villain gets to shoot the guns, the villain gets to drive the cars’

Yes, Yes & Yes. This graduate of the Stallone Academy of Grunting Performance & Steroid Abuse has an opaque future in cinema, bless ‘im.

...'Shut It, You Mug'...

Raise your glasses (or press your ! Key 4 Times) for  Tamer Hassan, Average Joe of the week.

Loser Fiasco.

Oh dear, oh dear.

I couldn’t afford Lasers, so only managed to lend my ear yesterday. In light of the ‘glowing’ Pitchfork review (3.0 outta 10 ain’t bad right?) whilst Lupe admitted he not only hated the album, but it was a label-forced cashcow. I hoped they were wrong…they weren’t. It well and truly sucks. With the exception of All Black Everything, it was fairly unlistenable.

There were some, well, interesting collabs. WHO THE HELL IS MDMA? & CAN WE PROMOTE HIM TO A CLASS A PRICK? He makes will.i.am’s recent vocoder work grammy worthy. Seriously, seriously gutted. I don’t know whether to rip Lupe to shreds via a Youtube response vid or start a t shirt line with WE STILL LOVE LUPE as the tag. Either way, i hastily deleted it off my iTunes and pushed the memory of Lasers to the back of my mind by listening to Enemy of The State mixtape in its entirety.

Anyway, rant over.

Sights: The sun, the sun, the sun. You know what that looks like so I won’t bother with google images on that one. I’ve already seen a few chubby tattoed torsos…best time of the year.

Coalition going all Earl Grey on us. I used to laugh at the Daily Show because British politics was so far removed from the madness of our cousins across the pond, now I chuckle a little less often.

I don’t even want the real poster to adorn this blog, so i chose a parody. Current affairs satire eat yr heart out.

Take out the a and youre almost there

Sounds: Not Lasers, as you mighta guessed fools. 

When's The Great American Rap Album coming out again?

We are going up, we are going up. Well hopefully. Was at the Bristol Rovers game and as per usual, the Northam stand was electric. Scraped a win, thanks to some Brazilian class courtesy of Guly Do Prado.

Wait, this has the look and feel of an Apple advert…Blatent plagiarism aside, the Amazon Kindle advert is accompanied by a delightful song by Bibio. Lovers Carvings is lifted off 2009’s Ambivalence Avenue – a road I hope to reside in one day.

Also making me megalol like a bieber fan was MySawToothMusic getting all riled up about people like myself, otherwise known as lovers of music:

‘Its funny because it almost seems like some people who heard it before the commercial feel like they deserve special rights to the song or somthin, news-flash just because you heard somthin before someone else DOESNT MAKE YOU GOD’

No Mister Molar, but it does make you cooler.

Scents: I had no nasal inspiration this week so i turn to one of the most peculiar blogs I have ever stumbled upon: http://smelloftheday.wordpress.com/  – I can’t wait to smell the Santa Ana winds I tell you, I’m booking my plane ticket just to smell that ‘diesel mixed with the heavy morning moisture of fog’ at Heathrow.

Taste: Innocent Cafe. Okay, it wasn’t quite that, but it had that feel. If you’re ever pottering about that fine spa town of Bath, be sure to pop into the Chapel Arts Cafe. As my mum said,’ it’s nice not to go to Prezzo’s’ and I know what she means. With one of my favourite eateries struggling (Piccolo Mondo, Windsor Terrace), it’s nice to find somewhere tastily independent.

Usually pretty full

If you do pop in, grab yourself a Morrocan flatbread, it’s blinding.

Looks arent everything

Here’s the deets: http://www.chapelarts.org/cafe/ 

Touch: Dangermouse. Slicker than your average.

Apple Magic Mouse

Epic Blogtime

Southampton Special – If this was an NME article it would begin with nods to Craig David, the garage scene and that drummer from Coldplay. But it isn’t, so tough.

Sights:

‘Whadda u haterz no bout art?’ – Things are always better free, but espeically good when they are sufficiently interesting and this is certainly the case with the Warhol exhibition currently on show in Southampton. The exhibition is housed at two locations: Southampton City Art Gallery in the upcoming if dully named ‘Cultural Quarter’ of my fine city and in the midst of Southampton University campus in compact John Hansard Gallery. If you’re not won over by Warhol and his aesthetic of repetition, this exhibition shows some versatility, with the 200 works going beyond the Campbell Soup & Monroe portraits we have all been force fed since year 9 art class. In particular his Gilbert & George portrait genuinely needs to be seen, it’s almost a subtle self-criticism. It runs until 26th June, so you don’t need to drop your plans or split up with your boyfriend. Here’s the deets for the nerds: http://www.southampton.gov.uk/s-leisure/artsheritage/sotonartgallery/warhol.aspx

The Cultural Quarter & Guildhall Sq.

It's some kind of British Piazza, innit

 

As I have already mentioned, I have some beef with the name, I mean it could do with some more balls or whatever the ‘it’ word is these days. Why not Solent Wharf, Artful Dodger Square or Mayflower Circus? Also, it doesn’t have a big screen like Victoria Sq. in Birmingham…I mean where else am I going to watch Slumdog Millionaire in 170 inch HD quality?

A place to consume boots meal deals in peace

The lack of imagination concerning the name and lack of a dope audio/visual system aside, I do like the space they have created – usually Southampton gets filled with glass monstrosities with [OFFICE SPACE TO LET] adorned over it – So it’s a lovely change. Also I’ve head it’s a brilliant place to skate…You didn’t hear it from me.

Sounds:

If Apparat was a Heavyweight Boxer, He’d K-O David Haye then give his fee to Audley Harrison, because that’s how ridiculously good he is. After a blinding DJ Kicks mix in 2010 – that’s not an opinion, it’s a universal truth – Sascha Ring is back with this bad boy – http://soundcloud.com/muterecords/ash-black-veil

A little late to this tune, but a necessary post – who says pop-punk-plane-crash-surviving-tattoo-adorned-drummers can’t make hip hop albums? Travis showing up Tom & Mark once again.

Poignancy Time – Finally, finally, finally got time to watch Up. This soundtrack is insane – reminded me of Chaplin’s The Kid – in a word, bittersweet. Hats off to Signor Giacchino.

Scents:

Any and all of the Original Source products, but particular this. Buy me this please.

Whatever you do, don't get it in your eyes

Taste:

Homemade Food – every time. Aside from the cupcakes and the butterscotch cheesecake I’ve been single-handedly devouring, it is reassuring to see a full fridge after living off Muller rice and 24p ciabatta rolls.

Touch:

Old Books – I’m reading a battered copy of Hubert Selby Jnr’s Last Exit To Brooklyn courtesy of the main library on campus and I have an unhealthy pleasure in its appearance, specifically its touch. For old books, go to your library whilst you can!